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What do I do about my irritating ex-boyfriend?

admin — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 16:03:26 +0000

This guy (Nick) and I went out for about 2 weeks. I went out with him basically out of pity because he kept flirting with me and asking me out and I told him I had a boyfriend and I didn’t like him but Nick and I were still friends. I had just broken up with my boyfriend (Alex) because neither one of us were supposed to date until we were 16 (we’re 14) and we agreed to wait until we were allowed to date. Me and Alex went out for a little over a year.
So Nick found out we broke up and he kept persisting. I’m really really really bad at saying no, especially in person, and it’s like I’m physically unable to hurt people’s feelings. I feel so so bad if I do and I always give in…
I stayed after school one day to do PE makeups and Nick stayed with me, but I didn’t know he’d stayed until after the buses had left. He then kissed me. I guess that’s when we started going out, which I never wanted and never planned, but it kind of just happened. Nick tried to hold my hand and kiss me again and stuff but I just felt uncomfortable and I wouldn’t let him, by telling him I don’t feel comfortable kissing in public (it was at school) and I always had my hands in my pockets. And he was too shy to ask to hold my hand. He kept asking me to stay after again but I always said my mom wouldn’t let me, but in reality I was allowed to and really needed PE makeups. I sacrificed my PE grade to not be around him…
So one day I just told him to not talk to me, ever again. And I went about being as nice as I could about it. So the next day he talks to me again anyway and about a week later I was IMing him as friends and I told him why I didn’t like him- I still was in love with Alex and I was waiting for us to be 16 to go out. And I told him I’d like him to stop trying to get me back because it wasn’t going to happen. Ever. And it wasn’t even supposed to happen in the first place and I didn’t like him, nonetheless love him. I was okay with just being friends, because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. And I told him how he didn’t do anything wrong, I just didn’t harbour feelings for him any longer.
So he started calling me every day and we’d end up talking for like 2 or 3 hours, the whole while me saying that I had to go and stuff but he just kept keeping me on the phone. I feel so guilty when I hang up on people and I couldn’t bring myself to do it… He still IMs and texts me but one day I decided to set my status to invisible so he never knows when I’m on or not. And I started ignoring his texts and I blocked his number.
Six weeks later, I was eating with my mom and he texted me and I got mad at my phone and slammed it on the table because he texted me…. again. My mom told me to just text him back and be nice. So I decided after a month and a half of ignoring him, I’d say hi. So I started using short texts that sounded like I was mad or something and said I had to go a lot.
Like four months after I "broke up" with him in a relationship that never was, he still talks to me and calls and texts and IMs everyday. I gave up so I just kept talking to him again… out of pity but I really want him to leave me alone.
Nick asks everyday why I broke up with him and I tell him everytime, because: I LOVE ALEX!!! And he persistently flirts and makes dumb jokes about being alone and keeps telling me how much he misses me and how much he loves me and he always sends me songs about broken hearts and whatnot, to show how he feels. I told him to stop trying because I didn’t love him and I wasn’t going to go out with him ever. He still tries though…
There is a girl that likes him and has for many years and he’s friends with her but he won’t even give her a chance; he just keeps ’stalking’ me even though I keep telling him to lay off.
School is starting soon and I fear he may be in many of my classes because we both picked honours and there’s only one honours class per subject… I really just want Nick out of my life because he has become extremely annoying to me and won’t leave me alone.
Alex even talked to him on the phone one time and told him very aggressively to leave me alone as well. I don’t know what to do. I seriously can’t be mean to him; it’s just how I am. I’m unable to be mean. I tried ignoring him and I felt bad the whole entire time. That was hard for me but it’s about as mean as I can be. I can’t yell at him and I don’t swear. So I suck at being aggressive.
He’s probably gonna want a hug everytime I see him at school and I don’t know how to say no and I’ll probably mentally collapse under pressure and end up giving him a hug anyway.
He’s really nice, he’s just overly nice so it appears as irritating. I told him repeatedly to go out with the girl who liked him because I was just not interested but he still goes after me.

What
I think it cut off the end so I’ll just continue here.

What can I do to nicely tell him to lay off…forever?? Something that’s not mean but will make him get the point..?

Also, I even asked my mom if I could switch schools just to avoid him. That way if I ignored him forever and never saw him again it’d be okay.
She said no…
PLEASE HELP!!! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!

Ok, he has a girl that likes him but he doesn’t like her. So what you do is try to sway him that way.

In the end, though, you are going to have to be more assertive. I don’t like to have to be assertive, but there are many people that will take advantage of you if you are not. This is when I become a major d**k. If you want him to leave you alone, you have to develop that.

Call him up when you are p*$$ed off and tell him,
"Look, do me a favor, leave me the f**k alone. I am getting pissed every time you call me. Stop calling!"

If this doesn’t work then tell him, "How pathetic are you? I tried being nice about it, and you took advantage of me not being straight forward, I tried being mean about it, and you still won’t stop, I will get a court order against you if you harass me again."

Just go in levels of increasing assertiveness because you should not have to live like that.

Technorati Tags: Alex, Being Friends, Buses, Feelings, Guess, Kiss, Love, Makeups, Mom, Nick, People, Pockets, Stuff

Am I a bad boyfriend?

admin — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 00:31:25 +0000

I always hear about people saying how controlling relationships are bad and all that, and I have to admit I am very controlling sometimes. My girlfriend has mostly guy friends which isn’t the part I am uncomfortable with, it is the fact the some of them flirt with her and try to break us up and one even comes to her house and knocks on her window at night. So this is where I become controlling. I tell her she can’t talk to the certain guys that flirt and always try to hang out with her. Also I have gotten to the point where I don’t let her talk to her ex’s anymore because one tried to kiss her and the other constantly starts stuff with me. I don’t let her hang out with guys without me there unless its one of the few I am ok with. Another thing I am controlling about is not letting her go to parties without me there. Also I do not let her drink or smoke or do anything that can harm her. When she is going out I ask her who its with, where she is going, what she is going to do, etc. And yes I call her often to check up on her. Another warning sign that people say is bad is when a guy doesn’t let her see family. Well the only thing I can relate to that is I don’t want her hanging out with her cousin who constantly talks bad about me and always trys to get her drunk or doing something else bad. And I don’t let her go to clubs with her parents because that is no place for a 16 year old girl in my opinion. When we first started dating I asked her not to wear as much makeup but i never said no makeup at all. The only thing about her clothes is the very short shorts thing I didn’t allow that but anything else I am ok with. I always ask her who she is texting and what they are talking about. And I got all of the guy’s numbers in her phone just in case i ever had to tell them to back off or something. But in return, I don’t do anything that I tell her not to do. I don’t hang out with girls in person and if I did I WOULD want her there with me. I don’t smoke or drink and I don’t even let her do that when she is with me. She has the few girls’ numbers that i talk to because I gave them to her. If you want to discuss more email me at uglymidget25@hotmail.com. Thanks.

Yeah you’re really protective of her.You might lose her if you’re not careful and let her have freedom.You’re being a…father.

Technorati Tags: Bad Boyfriend, Clothes, Controlling Relationships, Cousin, dating, Girlfriend, Girls, Guy Friends, Makeup, Old Girl, Parents, People, Short Shorts, Stuff, Warning Sign

How to effectively use up your makeup (eyeshadow)?

admin — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 19:04:09 +0000

I am 19 and didn’t start wearing makeup until 2 years ago. Over the years I have accumulated alot of eyeshadow shades just to figure out what fits me best and what makes my eyes pop and now I am pretty knowledgeable in makeup that I know what looks great on me. Now having said that what should I do with my old eyeshadow shades that I experimented with most of them I have thrown away as it was more than 2 years old. My older sister doesn’t really wear makeup and if she does its more like lip gloss and from higher end makeup like Sephora or MAC. Now I am left with similar repetitive eyeshadow shades and eyeshadows I thought I liked, thought I could make it work but now I hate it. (LOL. it sounds like a relationship). Any tips girls? Any lip gloss I have I actually use that out, so thats not a problem( I am a lip gloss freak).

I have a new baked Hard Candy eyeshadow duo (Used it about 5x, but I don’t like it)
I have a BRAND NEW Arissa lip palette( never used, but changed my mind on it) Can’t return it, its past due
A Maybelline mascara I used ONCE and didn’t like it.
Some coastal scents samples etc.

The list goes on…
I hate to throw makeup away as i feel it waste money.

I guess you could ask your friends to see if they want any of it. Or you could also try to sell it on Ebay even though it is used make-up. Some people might not mind that, especially if it is in fairly new condition.
Also, you could always try to mix the colors you didn’t like with colors you do like just to start trying to use it up. Mixing colors can actually turn out really pretty as long as they are similar shades that you are mixing.
hope this helped

Technorati Tags: Ebay, Freak, Girls, Hard Candy, Lip Gloss, Makeup, Maybelline Mascara, Mixing Colors, Money, Older Sister, Palette, People, relationship, Scents, Sephora, Shades

How Do I Get People To Stop Thinking That I’m 12 Years Old?

admin — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 07:02:23 +0000

I know that im not the only one, but dammit!
First of all, im gonna be 18 on saturday, and for me it’s not much of an achievement, since I have no friends to celebrate with, I can’t drive for shit (no one wants to teach me) I think I almost have a job, since I just gotta drop the application off.

Second of all, I don’t LOOK like an almost 18 year old girl, I look like im 12 (which seems to be the average age, since most people I meet say that) and it’s insulting. I understand if you go "oh I didn’t know you were 17" but i find it really disrespectful and ignorant to blurt out "i thought you were 12", to me that’s just like telling an obese person "I thought you were just pregnant".

Physically, I have grown since I was 12, im taller, a little bit bigger (when i was 12 my weight was in the 80’s and now im 122lbs). Im not the type of girl to wear makeup (i don’t look right with makeup) and it’s not like I shop in the kids’ section, I shop at hot topic, forever 21 and pacsun like most people my age, and im not short, since I practically tower over most people i’ve met, I don’t know, it’s things like this that make me feel retarded. Im starting college (state university, not community college) in the fall and im kinda scared because I don’t exactly look like a college student, Im probably gonna feel like a weirdo like I did in high school there, too. I don’t know what to do. I dont think it’s the way I dress since most of my clothes aren’t really that bright, neon type stuff they wear on disney or something. I really don’t know what to do, any advice?

And no. I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve come to the conclusion that I am unnattractive (that can’t be fixed unless I have surgery, but that’s another story) and/or guys will probably consider dating me illegal since i look 12 or something.

I get the same thing. I’m 19, 5 foot nothing, 90 pounds, and flat chested. God I hate it! I wish I could bulk up and get some damn curves! I hate looking like a skeletal tween.
Now my rant is over. I will now dispense some advice. I would stop shopping at Hot Topic. The whole emo and punk thing is a very 12 and 13 year old thing. At this age you should have already gotten over the melodramatic "no one understands me", "my parents are like totally dictators", "I’m gonna rebel against society with these awesome chains" phase.
I would wear a bit of makeup. Some mascara and a neutral shimmery eyeshadow would be a good, easy way to start.
READ! I love reading and the more you read the more you will know and the larger your vocabulary will be. Reading will allow you to speak more intelligently and coherently. The more mature you seem when speaking the older you appear.
Once you’re living on campus I wouldn’t sweat it. Everyone there is a college student and everyone will rightly assume you are a college student and therefore not 12.
When you meet new people let your personality shine through. Be outgoing and have a sense of humor. People will come to know your for your confidence, intellect, and individuality. Your age will be reflected in the way you act as apposed to the way you look. An as people get to know you better they will stop thinking that you look like a 12 year old.
I have a boyfriend and he doesn’t see me as a girl who looks like she is 12. He thinks I’m pretty and sexy and very much a woman. He likes that I’m geeky and smart. He doesn’t care that I’m not popular or preppy or hip. He loves the fact that I’m unique and have my own style and even that I can be a spaz and a dork sometimes. He sees a classy, confident woman, not a 12 year old girl.
Don’t be afraid to talk to guys. But don’t try to jump into a relationship right away. When you meet new people at college make guy friends too. The best relationships start off as friendships.
Get out there and own who you are! The way you carry yourself says more about your age than the way you look.

Technorati Tags: advice, Bright Neon, Clothes, Conclusion, Disney, friends, God, Hot Topic, Job, Kids Section, Little Bit, Makeup, Obese Person, Old Girl, Pacsun, People, pregnant, relationship, Type Of Girl, weirdo

How do I get over these "sexist" views, what’s wrong with me?

admin — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 18:29:32 +0000

Ever since I was really little, I’ve always believed that it was impossible for a man to actually care about a woman. I believed that women could fall in love with men, but not the other way around.

I’m a 17-year-old female and I am straight. I do not, however, want to have sex, it repulses me. The thought makes me nauseous and uncomfortable. I know that I would never want to be in a relationship with women the same way I would want to be in one with a man though.

I find women repulsive. I don’t look down on them or anything, but I do despise myself. I find their voices annoying and look at them as being inferior. I believe that the only reason a man would marry a woman would be to sleep with her more often (if she was holding out because he hadn’t proposed), and he would cheat anyway. I believe that all men feel like this as well, and if they don’t they have repressed it, but they secretly want to beat up women. I thought gay men were the most like this, but in my experience, they’re the most wonderful and nicest people I’ve ever met. I still feel like they hate women a little bit, but I don’t feel they do as much as straight men. I had a very positive experience with a gay man when I was around 9, he really helped me get out of some stuff, so I tend to idolize them all a little bit.

Anyway, I am very uncomfortable by all people but I’ve noticed lately that most of my new friends have been male. I’m not in a relationship and will never be in a relationship with any of them, I’m not interested in them like that. But they’re nice, and I feel they do not look down on me as much as I would have expected males to. I hang out with them a lot, but I’m not manly or anything, I wear makeup and wear girly clothes and don’t have a manly physique. People have commented that I’m a girl at sports. Yet, I always end up hating myself for being around them too, because I hate my voice and the fact that I am female in general.

I’m not a transgender though, I don’t feel like I’m a man on the inside. I would be very uncomfortable wearing men’s clothing and having short hair and all that. I enjoy wearing girly things but at the same time, I find them disgusting. I wear baggy clothes sometimes to try to hide my body, and when men hit on me or talk to me in a non-friend kind of way, I feel terrible. The thought of those instances makes me very nauseous and upset.

What is wrong with me?

Don’t know go to a psychologist or something.Maybe you’ve heard many men being sexist towards women when you were younger and now you’ve come to believe this.You also must have some kind of complex,either superiority or inferiority that’s why you hate women.

Technorati Tags: Clothes, Fall In Love, Gay Man, Gay Men, Little Bit, Lot, Makeup, Met, New Friends, People, Physique, relationship, sex, Sleep, Sports, Straight Men, Stuff, Voices, Woman Women, Women Men

how do i gain confidence?

admin — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 17:41:17 +0000

its a long one lol
i have very little self esteem. im a full time mum of 2 and am very proud of my children. how i see myself is really affecting my life, i have acne and am too ashamed to go gp to get it sorted, so instead i pile on makeup and hope it will go away (which i know wont it just makes it worse). it affects my kids as i don’t like to go out unless i have to, i cant play with them how i should or take them swimming, things people take for granted as im scared my make up will come off and people will see my horrible face. it affects my relationship as i take 2 hours to get ready and he hates it, we argue. i want to go to work but am to ashamed to meet new people and i take so long to get ready i would have to get up at 5am to be ready for a 9till 5 job. bizarrely people tell me im beautiful and i get chatted up all the time so i cant work it out. how can i make myself more confident without actually changing how i look????
its not a case of how other people see me its about myself. people tell me im beautiful all the time, sometimes random strangers will just come and say it. but it makes me feel worse about myself. im happy in life and i dont care what others think of me, i want to be happy with myself.

Think Positive. Say "I am beautiful", once a day when looking in the mirror. Think of your positive features. Do not be ashamed to get help for your acne, because that just makes it worse. Believe in your self, and know that you are beautiful. And go out and about once in a while, no matter what you think that day. Maybe even some counseling could help. =]

Technorati Tags: 5am, Acne, Beautiful, Confidence, Counseling, Full Time, Gp, Horrible Face, Job, Lol, Looking In The Mirror, Makeup, People, Random Strangers, relationship, Self Esteem

Today I have Come to realize my Spouse is Emotionally abusive help:(?

admin — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 04:19:51 +0000

Me and my spouse are both in are early 20’s. I am 39 weeks pregnant with my third child. The first child is from a past relationship but two of the children are my spoouses. I come to notice today that i may in be a relationship that has always been or that is beginning to be emotional abuse as my spouse has been blowing up at me frequently weekend after weekend out of no where with lots to say and putting me down. What to do when you feel you are emotionally abused?
Things he has said : im hairy, im lazy, im a bumb and just sit on my ass and expect to have everything paid for, why do i even put on makeup who’s gonna look at me, today at 39 weeks pregnant he says for me to get off my fat ass, he says very negative things about my family, my mom is in a relationship with a black man and he says for me to go get a black guy. i dunno thats just alittle bit of things. But what do you think . He said all this today and i need to be strong as this is hard for me because i have a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old and due for my third child this week. I do not feel that i am any of those things he has said to me cause i am smarter then that and know how much of a good mother i am and hard working mother.
My feelings for my spouse have really changed as i feel anger towards him and the hurtful things he has been saying and feels about me.
I have not really told anyone about what has been going on because i dont really know anyone close enough to trust and respect my personal problems with my spouse.
After he put me down all day he left with my two children for the day and came back like everything is ok. People say things when they get upset he says no big deal.

Leave that LOSER!!! NOW!

Technorati Tags: Anger, Black Man, Bumb, Emotional Abuse, Family Relationship, Fat Ass, Feelings, Good Mother, Loser, Makeup, Mom, People, Personal Problems, Sit, Third Child, Working Mother

is it possible to win back your ex gf who’s emotionally cut off from you?

admin — Mon, 31 May 2010 14:59:35 +0000

we just broke up a week ago and she can even talk to me in a friendly way. she’s removed me from her msn (found out via meebo.com) and she texted me to say she wanted to return my stuff (friendly tone). sometimes she replies my sms, sometimes don’t. according to her friends they say she’s ok after the breakup. we broke up many times before because of my bad temper. she’s not the perfect gf and we only dated for 7 months, but she has good qualities and i missed her. i really want to win her back and go for anger management just so i won’t lose her. but she won’t listen to anymore of my apologies and promises. pls advise. thanks!

Actions speak louder than words. Go for anger management and work on improving yourself. Then go to her when you’ve completed that. You may have to start fresh with a new girl once you’ve improved yourself. Sometimes that’s the way it works out when nothing changes between two people who have tried more than once to be together.

Good luck.

Technorati Tags: 7 Months, Actions Speak Louder Than Words, Anger Management, Apologies, Bad Temper, friends, Good Luck, Good Qualities, Louder Than Words, Msn, New Girl, People, Promises, sms, Stuff

Im happy with how I look but others think Im ugly..?

admin — Sun, 16 May 2010 04:24:28 +0000

I think I must too think much of myself or something Im female 21, very quiet and people say I lack confidence I know what I do lack is social skills Im not very articulate. Anyway the thing is Im happy with my looks (im slim and secretly think I have quite a nice face) but I never get guys interested and at college we did a facial attraction activity for coursework where we had to rate each others looks anonynously, I got mainly 4’s out of 10 and just one 5 most of the girls were getting 7’s and 8’s. I got the lowest score in the class even below the 36 year old lecturer lol. I could see they wer ebeing honest because the best looking did get the highest. My mum tried to cheer me up by saying that if I had a makeover I wouldnt recognize myself, that its because I dont wear makeup, dress plainly and that the people in the class must have just happened to be very good looking. From this Ive conclued that even my mum thinks I look quite bad.

Also a guy I got friends with and met online (who I broke up with) said that when he first saw me he wasnt so sure about a relationship but that he lowered his standards and gave me a chance cause he liked my personality. He said he is now concerned about other girls rejecting him because he couldnt even get me.

Anyway the thing is I dont understand how I can be happy with how I look and yet other people dont think I look ok. Im happy with what I see in the mirror I know that how we see ourselves is not how others see but then Im also ok with how I look on videos and photos. I think I look better on videos than I look in the mirror. Im not saying I think im amazing but Im just happy with what I see..maybe im subconsciously in denial or something :/ ? I must be since guys are not interested or attracted. Seriously though I don’t know what to think I dont know how im supposed to have confidence if others see me as ugly? And how come im happy with what I see on video if Im perceived as ugly?

if you’re happy, that’s all that matters. But since you said you dress plainly and don’t wear make-up, I’m guessing you aren’t taking advantage of your potential to be presentable and attractive. You will be happier if you take advantage of it. A lot of people can’t even be attractive no matter how much they try.

Technorati Tags: Chance Cause, Confidence, Coursework, Denial, Facial Attraction, Friends Online, Girls, Lecturer, Lol, Makeover, Makeup, Mirror, Nice Guys, People, Personality, Photos, relationship, Score, Ugly, Videos

How do I make friends?

admin — Tue, 11 May 2010 02:37:33 +0000

I’m in middle school and it seems like no matter how hard I try, people have no desire to be my friend. I have several people I hang out with but no real friends. I had one good friend but then she people, and then people told people something deeply personal and I am very mad at her. Now the entire middle school is laughing at me and I have no friends. Unfortunately, I am a teachers pet. I am decently smart and have made a very strong relationship with one of my teachers. I am half a foot taller than everybody else and so I stand out a little and well, I’m very noticeable because of that and the fact that I’m almost always alone. 10% of the people in our grade are SNOBS!! (Intense snobs too, like "my life is miserable because my dad won’t give me MORE money to take me shopping for more close to fill my closet that’s bigger than the girl’s locker room" and "We aren’t going to Florida this weekend so my life is terrible" and "Daddy got me a interview with a buddhist monk for my World Histories project") I want to make friends with people who aren’t snobs and who will take me for me, not how much makeup I wear…

The best advice I can give you is to just be friendly with people. I don’t know how bad the secret was that the girl blabbed about but just ignore it. If you act like it’s not a big deal, then eventually it will go away. Keep in mind you’re only in middle school. You won’t be taller than everyone forever. Once you hit 15 or so everyone else will catch up to your height. I remember being taller than most people in elementary school and now I’m shorter than most people haha. Just give it time. High school is way better than middle school and college is even better than high school. It only gets better from where you are now

Technorati Tags: advice, Buddhist Monk, Dad, Desire, Going To Florida, Good Friend, Locker Room, Makeup, Money, People, Personal, Pet Smart, Real Friends, relationship, Shopping, Snobs, Teachers Pet, World Histories