Posts Tagged ‘Mistake’

“Never frown, because you never know when someone is falling in love with your smile.”

Anonymous

Many women make the mistake of thinking that if a guy finds them attractive, they are on the path to a relationship. Even though they understand that the path may be full of twists and turns, still they believe that attracting the male is the first step. It is not the first step. Attracting the male is the first step to hooking up. When a man finds you attractive, he wants to touch what he sees. That’s it. If the attraction is mutual, you may go for the hookup. Afterwards, what you’ve got is a notch on your bedpost, a hookup with a cute guy. You do not have the beginnings of a relationship.

So what is the first step to a relationship? The first step is getting inside his head. He needs to think about you. He needs to wonder about you. He needs to be intrigued, and he needs to feel an impulse or urge to connect with you. That can happen with or without a hookup, before or after.

An interesting thing I have found in my research is that while most girls experience difficulty in getting guys to commit, there are some young women who complain that every guy they hook up with wants more from them. They are looking for casual hookups and don’t want a relationship. Naturally, that makes them irresistible bait. Of course it’s human nature to want what we can’t have easily. To paraphrase Woody Allen, we don’t want to belong to any club that will have us as a member.

If not wanting a relationship is the best way of being offered one, then what should you do if you want one? What can you do to be successful?

1. Be complete.

One of the worst movie lines ever is in Jerry Maguire, when Tom Cruise tells Renee Zellweger, “You complete me.” Ew. I remember cringing at that. You do not need a guy to be complete. In fact, a guy cannot complete you. You must live your life right now, today, without a relationship. Live it the best you can. Be thankful for what you have. It’s OK to want a special relationship, but you don’t need it to be happy. You really don’t. If you think you need it, you won’t find it.

2. Display enormous self-confidence.

Your mantra: “I am the desired object.”  This is so important that if you don’t believe it, you need to fake it ’till you make it. No one can think you are fabulous unless you do. It always starts with you. When you know your own worth, it shows. And it sells. You know that you would be an awesome girlfriend. You know that you could make a guy really happy. Don’t ever forget that you are a catch! You are not right for every guy. Some guys won’t be interested. Your job is to be your best, most confident self to attract the guy who might be. If you don’t believe that you are pure fabulousness, you need to address that. Take action. What do you hate about yourself? Improve it. Talk to someone. Do something. Just getting moving will make you feel stronger and better. 

3. Be classy.

A 2008 Cosmopolitan survey showed that 67% of guys are most turned on by “the girl next door” look. The “sex bomb” look only appealed to 12%. Understand that you are beautiful in your natural state. Stop trying so hard to get the guys all hot and bothered. The only thing you’ll get out of that is a booty call. If you are lucky enough to have a great body, resist the temptation to display all of it at the same time. Focus on one asset at a time. Use makeup to enhance your looks, not give you the appearance of a heroin addict. I’m not telling you to go ahead and wear sweats; just be more subtle in your presentation. Guys like wholesome.

4. Have the right kind of expectations.

Expecting a guy to become your boyfriend is not strategic. Expecting a guy to like you a certain amount, or display a certain kind of affection, is not effective. On the other hand, expecting a guy to do what he says he is going to do is good strategy. Expecting him to show you some respect; that’s good too. Guys don’t want you demanding love from them. But they will totally get it if you demand respect for your feelings, your body and your time.

5. If he hasn’t committed, you’re a free agent.

Guys are amazed when I tell them that back in the day, when we dated in the traditional sense, it was totally legit to go out with one guy on a Friday night and make out (or more), and then do the same thing with someone else on Saturday. We were dating; dating was shopping. And the guy might be shopping around too. Nowadays, guys want to hook up without commitment, but they think it’s really shady if a girl is hooking up with someone else the same weekend. You have every right to be choosy. So shop around, and don’t take yourself off the market until a boy that you really like asks you to be his girlfriend.

6. Create a little mystery.

I always advise women to hold back 10%. Never give a guy 100% of yourself (even when you’re married!). In every relationship, there is a pursuer and a distancer. Don’t be the pursuer. Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. Guys worry about the emotional neediness of women (with good reason, let’s face it). Fight that. Keep your feelings to yourself, or share them with your girls for now. Eagerness is repellent. Whininess is repulsive. He doesn’t want you to cling. He wants to pursue you. He wants to wonder what you think. So let him.

7. Slow down.

The best relationships happen between soulmates. You cannot become soulmates through sex. Through pillow talk, maybe, but not through sex. You stand a much better chance of becoming really close to a guy if you allow plenty of time and space for friendship. That means not having sex too soon. Sex can make friendship complicated. It’s much harder to go from sex to friendship, than from friendship to sex. Take time to get to know him. Make him spend time getting to know you. Guys appreciate a slow win.

8. Don’t overreact.

Don’t go all gloom and doom the minute he takes a step back. In Mars and Venus On a Date, John Gray talks about how guys are like rubber bands. They withdraw for a bit, and then they return. If he needs some distance, give it to him. When he comes back, welcome him. Chill out. If he doesn’t text you for three days, just live your life. If he thinks you’re going to give him a really hard time when he does get back in touch, then guess what? He won’t get back in touch. Guys hate drama. There are only so many long talks a guy is willing to have. So save your allotment of heart-to-hearts for the really important stuff.

9. Don’t waste time.

Cultivate a reputation for being a woman who doesn’t waste precious time on fools. You are too good to get hung up on a boy who doesn’t like you. Every tear you cry for a jerk takes up valuable psychic energy and sets you back. If you are feeling crappy about some guy, you are not open to a new guy. You may think you are, but your emotional funk will be telegraphed to those around you in subtle ways. If things don’t go your way, go ahead and feel sorry for yourself for a day or two. Eat junk food, get wasted with the girls, whatever. Then pick yourself up and live your life. 

10. Cultivate a positive attitude in the meantime.

Here’s where I get all The Secret on you. You can be strong and independent, you can take no prisoners, you can even be a hardass without sending out negative vibes. You are open and friendly, you just aren’t cheap. You expect good things to happen to you. A bad attitude is self-fulfilling; if you believe that no one will want you, then no one will want you. I guarantee it. If you believe that you deserve to be loved and are willing to wait for that special guy, then you will find him. You won’t find him sitting in your room, though. The more interactions you have in your day, the greater your chances of encountering someone new. Go out. Psych yourself up as often as you need to, but keep on getting out there. Don’t give up. You can have what you want if you will believe in it.

Susan Walsh

http://www.HookingUpSmart.com

Susan Walsh
http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/10-ways-to-get-inside-his-head-714424.html

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my boyfriend of a year just broke up with me last week. I need to find the absolute best way to go get him back. what do I say or do? help? suggestions?

Hi

Winning back your ex boyfriend is not easy at all. It is a lot easier to generate feelings in someone, than it is to change their feelings. But if you do the right things, and more importantly don’t do the wrong things, your chances increase dramatically.

if you desire to get your ex back then these 3 simple steps should help achieve your goal:

1.The first tip is to get your head straight. You need to get rid of the negative thoughts. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have to be willing to be strong.

Don’t let your emotion and of course your depression keep you down. You can’t achieve the goal, if you can’t keep your emotions in check and your mind clear. Negative thoughts are destructive behavior and you need to avoid them.

2.Don’t pester your ex boyfriend. Guys just don’t like it when girls become obsessive about them. Especially ex boyfriends. You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while. Don’t continuously make phone calls to him, send emails to him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him. You want to give him time to realize he may have made a mistake. He may begin to actually miss you and want to get back with you. If you blow it, you may have a tougher time getting your lovely ex back.

3.Become an object of desire. If you can, it will be great to get some new makeup. You will also want to get some new clothes and a new hairstyle. If you’ve picked up a few pounds, start exercising and try to eat healthy foods. When on the outside, you’re going to start feeling better about yourself on the inside. By feeling good on the inside you will be confident and happy. When you’re confident and happy, others will easily see it. You will become an object of desire to men, including your ex.

These tips were helpful for me to get my ex boyfriend back.However, if you really want to get him back I will recommend to get good guide on how to get your ex back. You can learn about the most popular and reliable guides in this helpful blog:

http://www.backwithextips.com/top-rated-relationship-guides

Hope it helps.

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There are many reasons for relationships to breakup and you will find just as many tips for a broken relationship. The only tips that will count are the ones that apply and help you mend your problems.

A breakup is a very emotional thing for both parties, it can leave you hurt, empty and lonely. The good news is there is a word called “makeup” that anyone can do if both people are willing. One of the problems is finding the right tips for a broken relationship and identifying the problems specific to your situation.

Outside sources can be useful because they are netural and don’t have the same emotional attachement you have. Outside sources can give you helpful tips for a broken relationship if they know some of the causes.

Some of the more common causes are..

- Money

- Cheating

- Communication

- Different wants

- Health changes

The list goes on, but knowing what the root cause was for a breakup can lead to a good solution rendering the results that will brighten your futures.

The art of compromise is a lost art when your are in a world of me,me,me and making up is a lot of compromise. One of the key tips for a broken relationship is “perfection”. Don’t expect perfection, we are human and the two don’t mix.

This doesn’t mean we don’t try for better, this just means we do make mistakes.The best way to get past this is be the first to admit your mistake and don’t carry this forward and create more stress.

We all change as time passes, but this doesn’t mean you can’t grow together.

There is no reason to continue feeling lonely and hurt because of a breakup.

R Bai
http://www.articlesbase.com/breakup-articles/tips-for-a-broken-relationship-746341.html

Technorati Tags: Articlesbase, Attachement, Bai, Broken Relationship, Compromise, Emotional Thing, Futures, Good Solution, Health Changes, Helpful Tips, Lead, Lost Art, Makeup, Mistake, Netural, Relationship Tips, Relationships, Root Cause, Stress, Time Passes

Getting back together with an ex boyfriend is always difficult. Take the time to follow these few tips and you can make it a bit easier. So many people don’t succeed in getting their ex back.  It’s not really our fault.  No one ever handed us an instruction book when we first started dating that taught us how to handle a breakup.  Much less, how to get someone back after a breakup. If you want to get your guy back, better read the following.

1. First of all, get rid of the self-pity. I know it’s hard not to feel down after a breakup, but you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself.  You have to be willing to be strong.  Don’t let your emotion and especially depression keep you down.  You can’t achieve a goal, if you can’t keep your emotions in check and your mind clear. Negativity sabotages your plans even before you put them into action.
 
2. The past is past. Recognize the fact that the relationship in its prior form is gone and things will never be quite the same again. You can’t let your mind keep wandering into the past.  Focus on what is going on now.  If you realize that the relationship of the past wasn’t perfect you’re heading in the right direction and laying the foundation for you and your ex boyfriend to get back.  Remember you are most likely glossing over all the bad stuff that happened. If you broke up, it’s because your past relationship had problems. Start anew.
 
3. Don’t become the desperate ex-girlfriend. If there’s one thing ex-boyfriends don’t need, it’s pestering. You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while.  Don’t continuously call him, text message him, email him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him.  Give him time to realize he may have made a mistake. This is important, not giving him enough space to start missing you will make it harder on things in the long run.
 
4. Change yourself. Be someone men would desire. New clothes, makeup, hairstyle, or whatever suits your fancy.  If you’ve picked up a few pounds, start exercising and eating healthy.  When you look good on the outside, you’re going to start feeling better about yourself on the inside.  By feeling good on the inside you will be confident and happy.  When you’re confident and happy, you will project this image to others.  There’s nothing more attractive than the aura of confidence, and even an ex-boyfriend isn’t immune to this.
 
5. Wait. Healing takes time, and if you’ve followed the four steps the next time he sees you he will probably be sorry that he broke up with you.  Keep your physical contact with him to a minimum, if you do see him.  Seeing you looking your best and seeing that you’ve become confident and happy will make him desire you.  If you limit your physical contact with him, this will drive him crazy. Don’t jump right back into another relationship with him, take it slow.
 

Sara Summers
http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/get-guy-back-using-5-simple-relationship-tips-723472.html

Technorati Tags: Bad Stuff, Depression, Emotion, Emotions, Ex Boyfriends, Ex Girlfriend, Heading In The Right Direction, How To Handle A Breakup, Laying The Foundation, Mistake, Negativity, Relationship Problems, Relationship Tips, Self Pity, Text Message