Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

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How does the transition take place between just dating and girlfriend?

I think about things, I’m very logical, and I don’t understand it

I think it depends on the person saying it, but generally speaking I think they are considered to be the same thing.

at least, I consider them to be.
but otherwise you could say that dating someone is just going on a couple of dates with them to get to know them, but it’s not anything serious and they may also date other people, and being someones girlfriend is when the guy actually makes it official by asking her "will you go out with me" and she says yes.

There truly is some confusion out there with this topic. I think its best to just ask the person you are seeing directly what it means to them, just so you’re both clear. the whole girlfriend boyfriend thing is a recent trend. in the past, people may have gone on dates, but they didn’t "belong" to eachother, they didn’t have little mock-marriages like people do now. so what used to be "will you go out on a date with me?" meaning one date, to the movies or something NOW means "will you go out with me?" as in be my pretend wife for a while please. I think it’s due to the decay of morality in our society. What used to only be proper during marriage is now proper with almost anyone as long as they have an man made title like boyfriend and girlfriend over their heads.

Technorati Tags: Boyfriend And Girlfriend, Confusion, dating, Decay, Girlfriend Boyfriend, marriage, Morality, movies, People, Quot, Transition, Trend

My husband is a crossdresser, and it’s really starting the hurt our love life. I knew he liked it before we were married, and I was ok with a little bit on the weekends, and he said he was too. Unfortunately now we’ve been married for almost a year now and it’s gotten (in my eyes) out of control. He swears he’s not gay, and I believe him, but it’s getting to be a real turn off. Every day he begs me to tell him what to wear, and he wants it to be girly ex: skirt, heels, dressy top, makeup, etc. He wants me to threaten him to have to go out in public dressed that way, and then when I tell him I will, he drags it on and on and on with whining about how he doesn’t want to. Which I know he does-he just wants me to "force" him. All this was OK in small batches. I’m very open minded, I saw it made him happy and that was good for me- but this is too much! Every day with this! Even when we are trying to be intimate as man and wife he will bring up the girly outfits and wanting me to threaten him. I’m a real tiger in bed, and the fact that I have to do that to turn him on bothers me deeply. I’m not saying I want to be bored in bed, but it’s severely hurting my respect for him and our relationship. I just want a real man in bed, it bothers me to wake up next to a guy in a bra and panties almost every day. I have spoken to him about it and it hurts him terribly, and he makes me feel quite guilty for asking for it to stop. I don’t know what to do! We are in counseling and there has been no improvement. I just want to feel like i’m doing the right thing. Please, help!

You have your own needs: to be loved, held, and feel protected by a man, and to love and honor a man you can respect.

In most cases a woman can marry a heterosexual crossdresser without any major problems. That is because most heterosexual crossdressers consider their condition an problem and they are willing to make compromises with their wife.

Compulsive crossdressers feel a NEED to crossdress. Their brains are hard-wired to release neurotransmitters when they crossdress, and this produces a sensation of well-being, pleasure, sexual gratificatin and self-identity. These neurotransmitters affect the reward centers of their brain, so it mimics the addiction response.

Your husband has problems on several levels: He is a compulsive crossdresser, he is into dominance/submissive sexual gratification, and he doesn’t understand, or care, about your personal needs. He acts very immature.

As the wife in a crossdressing relationship you need to establish the limits of tolerance. Set some rules like: Keep it private, Never in my clothes, Never in our intimate times… It is a turn off for you, and he needs to understand that. You are open minded and will allow it a couple times a week. You may not be able to respond to his dominanace/submissive sexual role-play. He needs to respond to your needs as much as you need to respond to his.

Nature tells us that it is healthy for boys to want to be boys and for girls to want to be girls. Social convention tells us that boys wears pants and girls wear skirts. Social convention can change but nature doesn’t. Crossdressing is a matter of social convention. While you may consider yourself as open-minded you have also discovered that you have limits on propriety,

Technorati Tags: Batches, Compromises, Counseling, Doing The Right Thing, Heterosexual Crossdresser, Little Bit, Love Life, Makeup, Man And Wife, marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Relationship, Panties, Real Man, Relationship Advice, Skirt, Strange Marriage, Tiger

I have been with my husband for four years, dating for three and married for one. We have a 10 month old and our history includes splitting up twice and in a divorce case that we never followed though with. We love eachother very much but seem to be very different from one another. My biggest problem is every time we have been together I feel controlled in a way and restricted. It started with not being allowed to wear makeup and now that i have my son there are so many restraints. I live with his parents with no car or means of transportation. Im not allowed to go to the beach or do anything without having a fight. He is not interested in talking about anything or he flips and no interest in a marriage councelor. I do not know what to do to feel I have more freedom. He is the only one working now, I am waiting to get a job, so he controls our financials and everything in our relationship. I just need some advice on how to go about this. Thank you.

Wow. Stop putting up with this. Stop allowing him to tell you what to wear and when you can go out. Get a job and don’t let him tell you no, and use the money to establish some of that freedom. If you don’t have transportation, get a bike or take the bus, or both. The only way you are going to get more freedom, in this case, it to simply demand it and take it. With controlling, manipulative types like your husband, you HAVE to stick up for yourself and do what you think is right, or it will only get worse.

By sticking up for yourself and doing what YOU think is right, it will force him to choose one of two options: Let you do it, or self destruct and do something to allow you custody of your child (which will probably make your life easier).

Technorati Tags: Choose One, Dilemma, Divorce Case, Freedom, Job, Makeup, marriage, Marriage Councelor, Means Of Transportation, Money, Parents, relationship, Restraints, Self Destruct

What would think about dating a single dad with three kids? (say he didn’t have full custody,say the kids were all under 10 yrs old, all the kids are from the same mom and they are divorced) Would you not be interested once you found that out: if so- why?

I would be careful there is a reason he is no longer with the mother and children. I’m not saying he is bad it could have been more her than him but I always say there are two sides to story and it takes both to get divorced. I have never seen a divorce that was all one sided. so my suggestion is see how he treats the kids watch how they act around him do they run play and have fun or are they scared of him do they act distant. watch closely kids don’t take sides unless there is a reason. does he interact with them when he has them or are they just there. all these things are good to watch.
My dad was considered and still is one of the most wonderful people out there everyone that meets him thinks he is such a great guy they think my mom is the worst person alive because she divorced him after 27 years of marriage there was still 4 kids at home and so on how could she do this to him he is so wonderful and why has she turned all 10 kids against him yes they had 9 children of their own and adopted 3 but only 1 of the 3 stay in touch any how they say we are all so horrible for turning against him and taking moms side the thing that out sides don’t see is he was abusive not just verbal but physical he broke my moms arm twice once by hitting her with the car because he was mad at her and once by throwing her down 16 stairs same thing mad. we always had bruises and bloody lips he would pull our hair so hard we lifted off the ground and had a bubble on our head for a week it would actually suck the skin off our head it sounded sick and hurt like heck. any how enough of that what I’m trying to say is if the kids take moms side and are scared of dad I would be careful but if they love dad and want to be with him this is a good sign because outsiders can never see what is going on inside the home. Me myself I was divorced and to tell you the truth even though I don’t want to admit it. I was in the wrong as was he. He is a great guy but things just happened that split us up we were young in our 20’s and it just did not work but I trust him with our son and they get along great so it just depends on the kids in my mind. also there are things like child support and being a step mom you have to think about I have my ex kids over all the time probaably more than my son goes to thier house I have no problem with it they are great kids and I really do love them almost as much as my own two boys but I also grew up in a home with lots and lots of siblings so I’m used to always having kids around as I was the oldest

Technorati Tags: Bruises, Dad, dating, divorce, Full Custody, Heck, Interact, lips, marriage, Mom, Moms, Stairs, Suck, Suggestion, There Is A Reason, Three Kids