Posts Tagged ‘advice’

I know that im not the only one, but dammit!
First of all, im gonna be 18 on saturday, and for me it’s not much of an achievement, since I have no friends to celebrate with, I can’t drive for shit (no one wants to teach me) I think I almost have a job, since I just gotta drop the application off.

Second of all, I don’t LOOK like an almost 18 year old girl, I look like im 12 (which seems to be the average age, since most people I meet say that) and it’s insulting. I understand if you go "oh I didn’t know you were 17" but i find it really disrespectful and ignorant to blurt out "i thought you were 12", to me that’s just like telling an obese person "I thought you were just pregnant".

Physically, I have grown since I was 12, im taller, a little bit bigger (when i was 12 my weight was in the 80’s and now im 122lbs). Im not the type of girl to wear makeup (i don’t look right with makeup) and it’s not like I shop in the kids’ section, I shop at hot topic, forever 21 and pacsun like most people my age, and im not short, since I practically tower over most people i’ve met, I don’t know, it’s things like this that make me feel retarded. Im starting college (state university, not community college) in the fall and im kinda scared because I don’t exactly look like a college student, Im probably gonna feel like a weirdo like I did in high school there, too. I don’t know what to do. I dont think it’s the way I dress since most of my clothes aren’t really that bright, neon type stuff they wear on disney or something. I really don’t know what to do, any advice?

And no. I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve come to the conclusion that I am unnattractive (that can’t be fixed unless I have surgery, but that’s another story) and/or guys will probably consider dating me illegal since i look 12 or something.

I get the same thing. I’m 19, 5 foot nothing, 90 pounds, and flat chested. God I hate it! I wish I could bulk up and get some damn curves! I hate looking like a skeletal tween.
Now my rant is over. I will now dispense some advice. I would stop shopping at Hot Topic. The whole emo and punk thing is a very 12 and 13 year old thing. At this age you should have already gotten over the melodramatic "no one understands me", "my parents are like totally dictators", "I’m gonna rebel against society with these awesome chains" phase.
I would wear a bit of makeup. Some mascara and a neutral shimmery eyeshadow would be a good, easy way to start.
READ! I love reading and the more you read the more you will know and the larger your vocabulary will be. Reading will allow you to speak more intelligently and coherently. The more mature you seem when speaking the older you appear.
Once you’re living on campus I wouldn’t sweat it. Everyone there is a college student and everyone will rightly assume you are a college student and therefore not 12.
When you meet new people let your personality shine through. Be outgoing and have a sense of humor. People will come to know your for your confidence, intellect, and individuality. Your age will be reflected in the way you act as apposed to the way you look. An as people get to know you better they will stop thinking that you look like a 12 year old.
I have a boyfriend and he doesn’t see me as a girl who looks like she is 12. He thinks I’m pretty and sexy and very much a woman. He likes that I’m geeky and smart. He doesn’t care that I’m not popular or preppy or hip. He loves the fact that I’m unique and have my own style and even that I can be a spaz and a dork sometimes. He sees a classy, confident woman, not a 12 year old girl.
Don’t be afraid to talk to guys. But don’t try to jump into a relationship right away. When you meet new people at college make guy friends too. The best relationships start off as friendships.
Get out there and own who you are! The way you carry yourself says more about your age than the way you look.

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Watch Dr. A. Georges Sabongui from TrueLifeSkills.com as he reveals how men can create a High Impact First Impression.

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This is me answering all of your questions! Stay tuned for part 2! If you have any questions at all, comment below!

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How to put together a great dating profile! The DOs and DON’Ts.

This is Part 2 of Series: Ultimate Guide to Online Dating.

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Me and my boyfriend met about 5 months ago, and have been dating for about 3 months.
We’re only 15 and 16, but we have.. well, had maybe, a good, mature relationship. We took things slowly, and respected one another. He didn’t ask for anything sexual, he let me make all the intimate decisions.

We both go to different schools, I’m a Sophomore at a new school this year, and I’m pretty shy, so I wasn’t meeting very many new people. Anyway, we still talked all the time, and I saw him at least once a week, a lot of the time 2 or 3 times… on weekdays and stuff, and we would text on a daily basis.

Now, my mom makes my home life incredibly upsetting, like, 99% of the time, but I tried not to complain about it. I only did complain about it a few times to him, I tried to keep it to myself unless he asked about it.

Everything is going great, then one day, we both went to help my Mother out at her shop, cause we both could have used a little extra money.
He acted kind of upset all day, so I asked him what’s wrong, he said "I’ll tell you when we’re alone"
So, we went to the back of the shop to clean some more, and I said "Really, are you okay?"

He said "Do you think you would be happier if you had a boyfriend at your school?"

Me: "Of course not! I care about who the person is, not whether they go to my school, or whether I see them daily."

Him: "I really want you to be happy. This is insanely hard for me to say, but I really want you to try to find someone at your school, I think you’d be happier that way. Besides, when we get back together, we’ll be so happy to see eachother, and I think the relationship will grow even more."

He thought that I wasn’t making an attempt to meet new people, and if we didn’t have a relationship, I’d try to meet people more.

I told him it was just my nature, I don’t speak to people unless they speak to me first, usually. Whether we were in a relationship or not I’d still act the same.

He still wanted me to try to meet somebody else, cause he thought I’d be happier seeing my boyfriend on a daily basis. So he said:

"We should take a break. You’re free to go up to kissing a guy… or whatever you want, I’d just prefer that’d be the most that you go. I mean, it’s gonna kill me if you do, but I really want you to be happy. Try and find somebody in these 2 weeks, please."

so I asked him a few questions about it, and we discussed it.

We agreed to take a break, 2 weeks. He said I could do anything I wanted with guys (I wasn’t planning on doing ANYTHING at all), and he said he wouldn’t even think about doing anything with a girl. He’s been cheated on before, so have I, and we both trusted eachother.
We could still talk to eachother, maybe hang out, but no relationship stuff. Just friends.

I was incredibly confused by this, but I went along with it.

We still kept our status to "In A Relationship" on our myspace, and still kept eachother as top friends (both number 2, right below our bestfriends), still texted, not too often though.
We only talked if we actually had something to say, never just "How are you!? " and carry on from there.
We hung out once within the two weeks, just as friends. It was kinda weird, but I still went along with it.

We were supposed to get back together Friday (Oct. 16), so on Thursday (Oct. 15) I texted him saying "Where the Wild Things Are comes out tomorrow, would you like to go see it with me? " It was his favorite book as a kid, and we’d planned on seeing it together weeks prior to our break.

He said "I have plans, sorry."
I said "Oh, it’s fine."

I figured he’d love having a great makeup day, since we hadn’t seen eachother in almost 2 weeks. I had an amazing evening planned out, and I was going to buy him a gift, something for his guitar, to celebrate.

We hadn’t talked about this whole break at all during the 2 week period, and I decided to ask him about it saying "So… tomorrow is Friday… end of the 2 weeks… what’s your decision on it?

He said: "I told Ashley I’d hang out with her."

I mean, on a regular day I’d be fine with him hanging out with a good friend, but this was the day we were supposed to get back together, happily.

I said "Not about what you’re doing, that’s fine.. I mean, with our break..?"

He said "Oh… I don’t know yet."

It’s been 2 days since we were supposed to get back together…
did I do something wrong?
Maybe we spent too much time together?

We both RARELY like anybody, It’s not just a new crush every few months. We were completely fine with being single. He told me he’s never felt this way. He told me he truly liked me. All of his friends said he acted different around me than all his other girlfriends. He told me I was the only girlfriend his friends not only liked, but loved.

I need someone elses point of view on this… cause I know there could be something that I’m just blind to because I’m the actual person going through it.

Hey… i can sense many things going on here –

maybe hes cheating on you
maybe hes not cheating but definitely taking a break (a long one) from you
maybe he has some friends advising him to do this, even if hes not willing to
I can sense that he doesnt want to be with you. If he really likes you, he would always try to be with you. in 3 months, a guy doesnt get bored of his GF (unless he doesnt like her / has another one)
may be he wants to focus on his career. or he likes someone else and doesnt want to cheat on you.

my advise is – if you want him back / things to be normal again – dont be clingy / dont cry / beg / get really angry or something. He knows what he is doing is not normal in any relationship. So just make him realize that you put in everything in this relationship and he is not. Also, be really strong and show that. maybe hes not telling you the reason he is acting weird is probably he thinks youll get all emotional and blame him for "playing with my heart" sort of thing.

So if you wanna know whats wrong, be patient and carry on with your life, school, be near your parents to divert attention from what is going on in your life and show him that you are just fine. Dont text him too much. youll find out the real thing in a week or two. get one of your friends to give you information about him from time to time. please dont get obsessed about it. Hope this helps.

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